Dear Rosie ,
I am so sorry this came after such a long period of time , but you still feel like yesterday , I still expect to see you when I enter my mums house, and the disappointment that overcasts my mood every time I have to remind myself.
I am still in the aftermath of the first lockdown , my wounds are not healed as yet.
Rosie , you were my constant.
I can recall the day we brought you home , the first time I had to say goodbye to you and all the rollercoasters and moments in between, arguments , departures, changes. You watched me grow , significantly, and I am so grateful I had you by my side to experience life with .
When I felt like the whole world hated me , during all my angry teenage years you were my constant that provided me with more love than I deserve.
When we lived abroad and you probably felt the most abandoned I missed you , I never told you that but I did . And now I do too.
You were beautiful , and you had the kindest eyes I would cry to you about life and I always felt listened to … in my loneliest darkest moments – I always had you… and I think for that reason I stupidly took you for-granted. I hate that this lesson had to be learned like this , but now I will try to not take any moment in life for-granted. You taught me, more than you can imagine .
I had no direction with this blog , but my heart was sad and I needed to get my love for you on paper my dear darling , you were more than a dog / pet , you were my protector and sometimes the only honest communication I could have , I trusted and loved you with every bone.
You were my first love , and as now 25 year old woman who is greatly dealing to struggle with the loss of you’re presence in my life damn you Rosie ! Damn you for being so perfect.
One day I will find the perfect resting place for your ashes my love , but right now there is not a perfect enough place , not a constant enough place for you, and I want it to be perfect for you my guardian , you protected me for years and years so now it’s my chance.
You were a super hero , you’re health was never amazing unfortunately , we rescued you from a bad situation which left life changing affects on you – we both hated men the same amount to 😂. Every time there was a new medical problem throughout you’re life you pulled through , but I know you were in pain , I know you needed to sleep.I can not finish this blog properly as I underestimated the emotions this would rock inside of me.
My biggest regret is I wasn’t there. That you were alone in your last moments with no reassurance or love.
I will never forgive my mum for not making sure I was there.
I didn’t get a choice , or a goodbye.
I cooked for you the night before and dropped it off – if I knew what was happening the next day I would of had more time , I would of spent more time. And I’m so sorry my furry friend 💕
This is just a form of expression because if there is any chance at all in the universe this can get to you …. I love you forever Rosie 💕 Sweet Dreams